The Wise Why

Daren Elsley
Well, my ********, it came about after one of my friends long term friends who? Peter fiddler. He was 36, but I’ve been friends with him for years. You know, since we were born, about 8 years old, and sadly, he died of cancer. Just after our 40th birthday. So we had, I did a couple of charity bike rides as you do. I think everyone’s always is fairly like, you know, you feel you have to do something, you know, sober house looked after him amazingly. So did a couple of charity bike rides and drawing that bike ride. I just wanted to. Raise awareness for cancers. It wasn’t a three men’s cancers at that time because Peter had bowel cancer, went to his plural and to his brain. But so I want to raise awareness because, you know, possibly if you’d gone to to to the. Treatment was quicker and had gone to the doctors earlier. It may be in a completely different story cause bowel cancer is is highly treatable and and and so is men’s cancers. The early you go into all it is all about that awareness and recognising the signs and symptoms. So I did the bike ride and I think during that I. Just thought a pair of underwear. Cool and ********? Absolutely brilliant. I love it. I love the word. ********. Everyone either talks ******** says the word. ********. It’s not really an offensive word anymore, you know, it’s just a. It’s a good play on words. I wanted, you know, obviously it’s BOL. Alex, it’s a good it’s a bit cheeky. You can have a bit of fun with it. Not not fun when you’ve got cancer, but fun. You have a bit of fun with it leading up to that, you know and and getting that aware. I thought it would resonate with with lots of people and kids having ******** on their underwear, you know, on the on the band just above their waistband. Anyway, I didn’t have a clue. I was in the printing industry, didn’t have a clue about. I just wore underwear. You know, I didn’t know where you get them, what they made of anything. So anyway, this journey started. Of me trying to, you know, get some quality underwear. We’re we’re our 10th anniversary now. And and that journey continues. You know, we’ve grown the. And the quality spot on now we’ve got good a good number of followers, but it’s still tough and we’ve gotta keep going, you know, and you’re trying to reinvent yourself and make yourself make the brand relevant all the time. So that that was that. But that was the catalyst is it was my friend Peter, you know, passing away with.

Kirsty van den Bulk
And one of the things I make you out networking, but one of the things I absolutely admire about you is it’s not just one company you run, is it, you do. You didn’t. You have. You do more to you. Are like a serial entrepreneur as well as doing. Is jumping into. Into ice, ice baths and other things. But can you explain what the other stuff that you do? Because you’re the man that just keeps going? Keeps reinventing.

Daren Elsley
I do well, yeah. It’s necessity. It’s it. I’m always thinking of something. I can do, you know? So obviously I do. I’ve got ********, which is now 80, you know, 7080% of my what I do. I’ve also got a A. A brand which is called perfectly wrapped. When I wrapped, you know, architecture that’s fairly that’s fairly new. So it’s. For me is having different different avenues, but my my passion and my main drive is ******** underwear. It’s it’s, it’s an emotional, emotional attachment for me and obviously I’m doing the ******** and boots charity walk that’s been five years in the making. First year I bottled out because I just thought no one’s gonna come and it’ll just be me, my dad and my two friends, and maybe my girlfriend.

Kirsty van den Bulk
Get interrupt. But do you wanna explain? I’m gonna put the tick tack on so people can see what we’re talking about, cause they don’t know it’s it when we know what the the. Products of. Boots Charity Walk is but a lot of people won’t who are listening to. Can you explain what you’re doing? Because it’s massive. It’s. And this is the reason I asked. You on the show.

Daren Elsley
Yeah. So the ******** and boots charity walk is for guys, it’s it’s very it’s similar to the ladies bra walk or moonwalk, they call it or midnight walk, they call it now or seem to have lost you.

Kirsty van den Bulk
Oh, I can still see you. So you’re still alive? Yeah.

Daren Elsley
Ohh OK Ohh, I’ve completely lost you. How bizarre. Ohh, you’re back.

Kirsty van den Bulk
Welcome, by the way. This is exactly what happens when you go live. Things go wrong and it throws you, so don’t worry, it’s all good. Take.

Daren Elsley
Someone put me off. Please help. I thought off come and switch me off.

Kirsty van den Bulk
A breath. No, no, no, no, not at all. Not let’s let’s explain about the the ******** and the walk and I’m going to call out a few people at the end of this. Because I’m going to charge them to take part because I.

Daren Elsley
Can. Well, it’s it’s. I don’t think there’s any walks like it. It’s so it’s follow some boots. I wanna get try and get as many guys as I can to walk either 5K or 10K and a pair of ******** and a pair of boots. When I first started it, I wanted I was adamant. I wanted people in underwear, you know, guys in underwear and a pair of boots. Massive impact. But now we’ve kind of like, OK, some guys don’t wanna show off. I haven’t got body confidence or whatever it might be. So now. But you can wear a T-shirt or you can wear them over trousers just to open it up. Really. But the the message is still the same is to raise men’s cancer awareness. Orchid, which is the men’s cancer charity. What? Who we’re who we’re supporting and we’re sponsoring fundraising for the. And and and I’ve had so many people who just it’s going to be based at. The Harwell campus on the 2nd of September this year, 1:50 dish, which is the kind of like 80 place foodie place at Harwell. They’re gonna open up. So everything all came together only about a month ago. I was like, whoa. Ohh right. ****. I need to get. I need to get as many guys as I can now to come. So now I’m just running around trying to get like comraderie kind of guys together, you know? But women, very women are very, very empowered. You know, the bra walk is testament to that. They all come together. All shapes and sizes you know, they all just very supporting each other, all very empowered. And so I’m trying to mimic that with ******** and boots for the. So yes, you can go on to the landing page register and I’ll just say I’ll just just and we’ll see how it goes. And but I’d love this to be the first of many in different counties and. Just do one in every county. It just be good fun, you know, and as and as we grow and as I learn how to do things better, it’ll become maybe a bit of a family event. Partners can come along, you know, we’ll have, you know, should be a bit of fun. That’s what I want.

Kirsty van den Bulk
So I’m going to call out the security market, cause most of you men and I’m going to say to you, I want to see you on that walk and I will be there to cheer on from the sides. The same with all my engineering contacts. I am calling you out to come to Oxfordshire and take part in the bonnets and boots. I hope I’ve got that correct. Yeah. And you will find the link going across the the tape right now. So I will be tagging.

Daren Elsley
All of them.

Kirsty van den Bulk
As many people on this post, because I think it’s really important, particularly the security market. You know why there’s just been a new person not gonna expose them, but we need to do it for him. So let’s do it for everybody. So yes, let’s all come together. So anyway, that’s me doing my. On my my. Big box and you were in the print industry.

Daren Elsley
Yeah, I was in the prison. Is he from a young age? So I did an apprenticeship at 21 and yeah, on a presses worked through estimating sales sort of ran a print local printing business. When that came to, I was running the the underwear alongside it. I only, you know probably 1015% of my time. Spent on on the underwear cause my full time job was. Running a printing business, but it was very I was passionate about it so but it just it. It just ticked along really is a is more of a sort of like a hobby type. And when I come out of the industry, I I decided to go sort of just go for it, you know, just just put ******** front and centre and and if you give some 100% then you you know hopefully it’ll it’ll do what it needs and that’s what it is. And and thankfully it’s it’s grown it’s still tough you know we had Brexit. Apple changed their privacy settings. That actually sort of half Facebook ads. Potential. Yeah. And there’s there’s, there’s there’s, there’s no. And then obviously with COVID and then we got the shipping crisis, all the costs went up. So you’re you’re constantly being hammered. And you gotta have thick skin, you know, and a lot of resolve. And that’s that’s why I think my passion and my belief in the brand and what it can do and you know, save saving lives and also just improving the life, the life potential which you’ve, you know had if you’ve got prostate the early you go in. The early you can have intervention and the the better lifestyle you’re going to have afterwards and and that’s what I think a lot of guys don’t get especially with prostate is the earlier the intervention. You can massively improve the outcome you know. And so so that’s the message I want to get. I really you need to, you know get across I think a lot of charities wanna get across is that is that awareness and and and prostate is a is a little tricky little ****** you know because a lot of people just think it’s kind of like Oh well you know I’m I’m going to the toilet more often but I am 50 you know of course I’ll add a lot to drink and I you know that’s what happens. But sometimes it’s not, you know, so you’ve gotta be long, as you’re all you can do is that’s where. The underwear in. Every pack there is a little leaflet. That’s it describes the signs and symptoms of prostate, penile and testicular cancer. And I think that’s the guy that’s that’s our best defence. And and also not just guys but also their partners to be aware of it as well. Because I think again I think women are a lot more assertive on that front. You know they talk about it more and so if they’re if they’re aware. Of it. And guys are aware of it. They can pass that down to their children. It’s kind of like just it, it just makes absolute sense to me.

Kirsty van den Bulk
And I thank. You for sharing. I had a mentor when I joined Samsung Hammer, Techwin Martin and. He took me under his wing. He looked after the the the, the Dutch side of the business and the and Benelux. And well, just Benelux. Full stop. And yeah, it it Martin Cottle. And he I didn’t know when I met him. He’d been off with prostate cancer. I had no idea. And then he took me under his wing. And he was. Just ohh. He just was so calm. And inspirational to to actually some of the stuff I do today, and unfortunately the the cancer didn’t go, it came back and you know, a year, two years later, we were at his funeral and it’s it still affects me now. I can’t. And my uncle got skin cancer and I’m going to say honestly these numbers are still on my phone. I cannot delete them even though. I know they’re not here. I can’t delete their numbers because that would mean that I’m getting rid of them somehow and it’s the. It’s the imprint and you know, someone said to me today I went, look, we’re gonna be talking about male cancer this morning on the. Wise. Why? Because we need to talk about it. You’re right. There’s a lot going out there about women we know to check our breasts. We know how to look for. Ohh the the silent the silent one. Ovarian cancer. You know, it’s a really silent killer, but we’re still aware of it. We know what to look for. We know some of the signs, and there’s just not enough out there. And then you add in the shame element and you know, it’s almost like guys aren’t allowed to show weakness. And if you do through weakness.

Daren Elsley
Yeah, I think it’s. I think for for ladies, for women, I’ve got two daughters from a very early age. They have the they have periods, you know they they talk, they talk about severe. But so you know they have smear, they go for smears and so they kind of are used to that kind of. You know, talking about and and going to the doctors and look at them sort of like private areas. You know, they sort of introduced it at very young boys just aren’t. Boys, boys don’t have it. It’s just it’s their their bits and bolts and it’s very private, you know, so they’re not exposed to that. And I think most of it. So you just disappeared again and it’ll come back. I’ll keep going so. But basically as well. So for men, I think it’s it’s fear is the is the primary driver men. Oh, look at.

Kirsty van den Bulk
That don’t worry about that. That’s just.

Daren Elsley
Just don’t wanna know you know that. They don’t wanna be aware of it because there’s there’s a there’s a fear factor there, you know of or what? If it is? What if it is cancer? You know what if it is something? But I know I don’t understand the mindset of of not just men, but anyone who sort of like thinks there’s something wrong. Not to just go to the doctors because if you go to the doctors. That that decision is not gonna. It’s not gonna give you cancer. You know, if you’ve got cancer, you’ve got cancer. Go to the doctor’s. It’s only a beneficial thing. Thing to go to the doctor and then and then either be told there’s nothing wrong and then you’ve got you’ve you’ve your, your anxiety, you’ll drop down and you’ll think, oh, thank God for that. You know, I think it’s fine. I can get on with my life. But if it is, then someone’s gonna be done about it. And the earlier and the other thing, the earlier intervention, it can only be a positive, a more positive outcome. You know, so I think the the mindset has to change from this, this automatic fear. I’m I’m gonna stick my head in the sand. I’m not gonna. I’m not gonna go to the doctor’s because it it won’t happen to me. And if it is, I don’t know about it. Don’t. Get that?

Kirsty van den Bulk
Yeah. Thank you. I think it’s really important, it’s it’s really important to hear it from a man. A man’s point of view, cause that’s women. We we tend to jump on the bandwagon and we tend to bang the drama and we’re very good at it. But actually it’s this is about you guys. It’s not about us. It’s about you guys and and being brave and it is bravery. Your fear is the possibly the most debilitating. Thing and it will stop us. And it it’s like this, this incredible how fear can limit you. And I’m just really, really pleased that you said yes. One to being brave and doing your. First life, but to. To coming on into and and sharing your story. So I’d like to ask who, apart from Peter, has inspired you?

Daren Elsley
Who’s inspired me through it? Well, I’ve. I’ve through my journey of doing underwear. I’ve met people who let you down, you know, because you’ve you know you. You know, I I think everyone is responsive to outside influences, you know? So some people who are who are negative about what you’re doing and then it starts to you start to doubt your own. Brand. You know your own mission, you know. And there’s like, you know, there’s several people who are, who are bit who are like that. But there are people like, you know, in instance there was when I was going through the process of starting the brand as a company called IP assets. And he I met him networking for the I was talking about trademark in the brand. And to trademark, the brand is thousands, thousands and thousands of pounds to. Get it? Get it traded. So for most people, including myself, it was like that’s just, you know, it’s a big risk. I’ve just spent, you know, 12 grand or whatever on underwear. It’s just something which I would love to do, but you get that point where you go, OK, this is maybe. But he took our Ian said we’ll support you, you know, we’ll help you get it through there. And so and without him and his. Support and his energy and everything else I would have got it trademark and I may well have just stopped, you know? So he was. He’s definitely been influential in my in my journey. Obviously my wife and my children. You know, they’ve because I do it all the time. I’m I’m either thinking ******** talking ********. They either helping me. They’re either help me rap ******** taking pictures of me and my ********. Getting their boyfriends. And our husbands, I’ve I think I’ve used every person I could possibly use to help me. Just, you know, grow the brand, you know, even now, you know, I need some pictures for Instagram. And so I’ve got my daughters boyfriend. He’s gonna do plays golf. So he wants some golf pitches, the plunge pool thing that was, you know. Daughters plunged Paul. So. So yeah, my old file. Immediate family have been brilliant.

Kirsty van den Bulk
And and I love you.

Daren Elsley
Without that support.

Kirsty van den Bulk
I love your marketing. Your daughter, by the way, is a genius. I love which it what you do because it’s it’s it’s. It’s just pushing the boundaries but raising awareness and you know, I I work in marketing communications, but I love it. I love to, you know, it’s real and you know, I should have got that as a ticker tape so people could see it because it was brilliant. It’s like. It’s hot outside and there you are getting into an into an ice tub. And but you’re it’s it’s the fact that there’s a. Coherent message cohesive message all the way through everything that you are doing, and of course I’ve been able to link with, you know, prostate with Paul and and and get you connected with him. And for me that was a real big link because I’d gone to a big security show an an event that Roy Cooper see. Roy, I want you there. So during the course of people out today, he was supporting Paul and Mark Wall bought and paid an awful lot of money for a bottle of a cotton. But what it was, and they were putting the money in. So now you know, I want them to come on your boots and ******** walking walk, walk but. Then you know when I realised that actually it wasn’t just because I met you, I didn’t realise that you were actually raising money from the sales as well. And it was like, hang on a minute. No, no. No, this needs to be talked. About and so I know you had some stocks for pluck stocks. You’re waiting for new stock to arrive. Has it arrived yet also?

Daren Elsley
Yeah, yeah, they all arrived. Yeah, we got. I got. I got some flown over because I need them for Father’s Day. So I got some flown over. The rest are on the sea at the moment. So they’re they’re arriving this month and then we’ve got a load. More arriving in September. But yeah, so so the you know, the the whole point of. The brand is. To is to. Obviously I want guys to raise awareness, but I want them to also have a really comfy pair of underwear, so this new range has got bamboo and cotton mix and they are just so nice. There’s a little comfy pouch, you know, and we’ve all. I’ve always tried to have the the quality, so they wouldn’t just buy as a bit of a giggle and go. Pair of underwear called ********. I wanna put them on and go. Actually, these are just feel absolutely lush. I like them. You know, they fit well. Don’t ride up. And the the range we’ve got now, there’s absolutely smashed it. I’m so pleased with it. So that was, that was obviously the having the quality underwear. Obviously the message is every time you pull them up, you’re reminded to check your blocks, you know, leaflet inside there signs and symptoms of men’s cancers on the website linked to charities who are more experienced than I am. That’s giving advice because I didn’t wanna. I didn’t wanna be a charity. I wanted the charities to use ******** as a as a a method or a vehicle to to, to kind of, you know, to to send that message out. But also and then the the charitable donation at the end is for me is just a little tick box at the end that I’m giving something back, you know. But the most important part is the awareness because that’s that’s 95% of the whole reason for the brand is awareness.

Kirsty van den Bulk
So I’m placing my order. Now. I know you’ve got stock because my my husband needs new underwear and he loves genuine loves bamboo underwear and I’m just gonna let you know that Mike Foster, who is also gonna come on. Though has said that he’s wearing the new style today and he’s put a big smile on boat and Ian Bingham of IPS, it’s as a top man and so supportive again from Mike. So you do have somebody watching you. I told you you would. Did you have now? I always want because we. Know why you? Set it up and I know you’ve had moments where it hasn’t been. Easy, but did you have any? Times when you were really, really going. Why am I doing this?

Daren Elsley
Ohh God yeah. You end up being bipolar. So ohh sure, yeah. Whenever I have my, you know, when things haven’t gone well, you know you because you you when you got any any any business person that is you you are exposing yourself to potential failure and I think you know sometimes in this country people just think that you know some people like you to fail you know. But you gotta get over that. You know, you just go. But if. You don’t. Try it, you’ll never know and I always go back to when I’m feeling a little bit kind of like, oh, God, you know, I mean, this is just. I’m banging it against the wall here. I just think about Peter, you know, and what he went through and what he what he put up with. And so he married Peter. I’ll never stop. You know whether the brand. Those global or. Whether it’s, say, small, you know we sell, you know, 1520 thousand pairs a year and then I’m reaching 1520 thousand guys that might I might save a life. You know, that’s cool. I think that’s really cool. You know? So if I can do. That and I can have a have a laugh along the way, you know? So, but yeah, for sure you have. I have, you know, ups and downs, you know, not not massive downs, but sometimes you just think you know, why isn’t this, you know? No, I hear you. The right ingredients to be a successful brand and and yeah. So anyway. But like I say I, but I’m sure every business owner has has these ups and ups and downs. It’s just part of part of business.

Kirsty van den Bulk
I think it’s important to have those ups and downs when I get like that. I always remember, particularly because when I first set up I I launched a business on on social because it was free. And it was, it was relatively easy. Well, it wasn’t easy. I had to understand and learn. And I I did train in the platforms through the tech pictures. And then I I layered on my own marketing experience and and pulled it all the way together to create the social selling platforms that I work and do now. But when I first started launching the brand on social media. I’ve got a lot of rude comments. Ohh, you’re very busy on your socials and I remember being really taken aback by it. And at that point somebody I went on started talking about the crab and allergy. I don’t know if you’ve heard of this. Do you know the crab bucket? So I was really low by one of these comments. It it literally floored me because it was something that I thought was a really good friend and they were just. It was like they they did it and then they cackled like a witch because I thought it was really funny that I was on social. And I was like. But it’s not me on social media, it’s my business, Brandon. And then the the cache of the witch really really left me going. Ohh and somebody told me this crab analogy, which is about a bucket and if you’ve got one crab in the bucket that can crawl out. But if you get 2 crabs in the bucket, the other crab can’t pull out because the other was pulling it back in. And so when I was feeling really low over the comment, I thought, no, I’m not gonna let that crab come in, which sounds really bad. So now talk about. Blocks and crap anyway.

Daren Elsley
You’ve been active. If you’ve been very active with your ********. And you might get.

Kirsty van den Bulk
Itchy now, but yeah, it was on those really important moments in my life where I just went. No, I am not going to be pulled back in and I think that’s one of the things I’ve I met you. I saw you about a year ago. First of all, you. And the you are this light force, this energy in the room and and it was just like I didn’t quite get what you’re doing purely because I was really nervous. And people don’t think I did get nervous, but I was really nervous myself thinking I don’t have a right to be in this room and I think.

Daren Elsley
Yeah, you get imposter syndrome? Sure, yeah.

Kirsty van den Bulk
You do and and I struggled with that quite a lot very much. So a year ago.

Daren Elsley
Yeah. Yeah, well, I when I went from print to this full time, then I did have that in processing Chrome. I was thinking, you know, Oh my God to are, you know are people are people gonna think what is he doing and yeah so but I think we again we we all get that and you get over it.

Kirsty van den Bulk
Have you managed?

Daren Elsley
Well, you give up and for me, I’m not gonna give up, you know, with the underwear. So it’s. Yeah, I say it. It’ll it’ll keep. It’ll keep going till till I drop down dead. And then my crazy saying we’ll just say ********.

Kirsty van den Bulk
I I do. You know what? I I will come up at first. Although I think I’m possibly about the same age, so maybe even older. So maybe I I maybe I’ll go first.

Daren Elsley
Yeah, we don’t wanna race to the finish, do we?

Kirsty van den Bulk
I promised my daughter I was gonna live to 140. What am I thinking? Yeah, I’m I I must be mad. So Garry’s joined us and said ohh, my bullets and crabs.

Daren Elsley
Yeah, go for it.

Kirsty van den Bulk
This is where you get to turn the table on me and you get to ask me a question that I’ve got no idea what it is and this other. I take a deep breath and go or.

Daren Elsley
I have to ask you a question.

Kirsty van den Bulk
Yeah, you get to throw anything you want and you’ve been in the hot seat for 25 minutes.

Daren Elsley
Alright, I have nothing prepared. You feel I just throw me in the hot seat. I’d have prepared something. I was gonna. What? I’m gonna ask. I was gonna ask you, so I’ll ask you personally. Then when I when I. Because obviously there’s when you go networking and I met you at at a pitch event. You know like when we go networking. How do I come across? Because you’re always doubting your own presentation skills, you know? And so I know the person I am when I’m talking to my family and stuff and friends. I’m in the pub or whatever, and then you stand up and start. I know you. Sometimes you you feel like a different person or you try not to be but you. So how how do how do I come across? Passionate, passionate like you.
Kirsty van den Bulk
Passionate, believable, honest, investible. So all of the things that you would need because you are driven by a personal story to never give up so determined and driven, it’s and and it’s your energy and your passion that is really key here because you have. The cause and it’s right down. It’s personal. Anybody who is thinking about investing would go. This guy’s never gonna. Give up. And and I think I think that’s really important that if you’re going to let’s talk about investment investment for a minute, I mean, I’m not an investment specialist where we need Mike Foster on or we need Andrea. But what I do know is to be investable. You’ve got to be believable and you’re authentic. There is no point trying to be and that’s what I was talking about. There’s no point trying to be what you.

Daren Elsley
OK, cool.

Kirsty van den Bulk
Not getting and doing mistakes is really, really important because nothing is perfect and they’re magical mistakes and I love the fact that we all make mistakes. But your drive and your passion is what makes you investable. It’s that honesty and thank you, Mike. But I’ve got on the spot here. Mike has just said a. 100% so. I would say you are your authenticity, which we keep talking about, and This is why the I’m not gonna give up on the wise. Why, even if I end up doing it. Because there’s a story going on which I will come on to at some point, but even if I end up doing it from a static caravan, I’m not going to give up this because this is a platform about authenticity. And the reason for it is in the world of AI video with you being you live and vulnerable is the human element of the brand and that. Human element of you and you can’t lie up. You can’t lie live so because the camera would see it. So I’m gonna say absolutely investable. We’ve just got our lovely comments from Mike and Luke still just a good explanation. Rest well described I am seeing of Mr Bullets today, so he’ll be buying a pair. Keep shining, Mr. Bean. The light allows others to shine tea, I think.

Daren Elsley
That’s nice.

Kirsty van den Bulk
You. Absolutely brilliant. I’m just gonna put the tick tape on to the know where to see that lake. I hope to see you on the ******** and boots walk. So this is the link for the bullets and boots walk. Please, please come to Harwell. Please raise money because it’s really important. I’m so honoured that you today said yes to coming in and talking about mental health. You get to sign off today. Because this is.

Daren Elsley
OK, see, like I said, I’ll just thank you for giving me the opportunity. I’ve never done a live anything before, so it’s it was good for my nerves. Yeah. So I feel like I’ve got a bigger pair of ******** now, so she’s good. And hopefully we’ll just carry on reaching more guys, raising the awareness of men’s health and like saying if if they’re out your life, you can save some lives, then that’s and you can be a good thing. So yeah. But thanks for the invite and hopefully we’ll see you at bolts and boots event. Awesome. Take care.