The Wise Why

Kirsty van den Bulk

Hello and welcome to the Wise way. This morning I am joined by an amazing lady and this is really funny because we’re actually streaming live. We live about only 2.5 minutes away from each other. Anyway, I’m going to introduce Gilly Mulford to you, who is just not only an amazing lady. But she is also a really dear friend of mine, so I’m very honoured that Jenny said yes and it’s got over her nerves to join me live this morning. But as usual, the was was not about me. It is about my guests. So Gilly, the floor is yours, please introduce yourself.

Gilly Mulford

Morning, Kirsty. Thank you so much for inviting me on. It’s an absolute privilege to be here. Yes, Gilly Milford from your household, PA and tales of perfection. So I run 2 businesses side by side, 1 grew out of the other organically, which I always feel is the best way for any business to go. And we’re. We’re busy. It’s exciting times ahead and yeah, it’s. I’m just here to tell you more about me. What I do and how I. Can help everyone.

Kirsty van den Bulk

So what stop talk? Yeah, actually, you talked about nerves just before we. Went live right? And this is what I love about live streaming. Is people automatically assume we’re gonna be perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. It’s a moving target. And I’m still can’t catch it. So can we explore a little bit about firstly the household? The A because I love the name, it sums it up for me, but maybe for you is that who are listening. They’re not sure what it is. So if you could expand a little bit on that would be really useful and then into how tales of poor vection. Hopefully I got that correct and expanded and organically grew.

Gilly Mulford

Yes, so your household PA is a virtual assistants business. We support not only private households, but we support businesses as well with any administration tasks. So for private household PA, it could be just getting a diary management set up for you so that we pop everything in as when your bills are due, when your insurance is are due every year. We can do the research for you down to managing properties, rental properties for clients of mine that. Now live abroad. The maintenance the annual cheques dealing with estate agents, lawyers for property sales, a whole a whole host, anything that you do for yourself at home that you don’t have time to do. Especially if you’re running your own business or you’re busy, a busy CEO, or you just don’t have that time, you know, some some people said to me they’re up till 3:00 in the morning trying to deal with their household stuff because work just takes over. Then we can help with that for the businesses. If any administration supporting there, whether it’s dairy management, whether it’s e-mail management. Again, research PowerPoint, proofreading, updating, or uploading. Bits and pieces to their websites. It’s yeah. Anything on your To Do List that you can outsource is what we will take on because primarily for those individuals, they need to focus on bringing the revenue in and whatever time they’re saving allows them to do that.

Kirsty van den Bulk

I’d like to talk on that actually just before we go to pose perfection, because people, especially when you start new new business owners, they think they have to do it all. And I’ve, I I’ve learned you have to outsource, you know I do a lot of stuff where I work with other people. And if you’re a new business owner and you’re worried about money. Stop. Stop it. Go and outsource. Save yourself time so you can focus on the jobs that will get you more money. Because honestly, having a VA or something to lean on, it’s it’s huge. Can you? Can you help me with explain that? A bit more.

Gilly Mulford

Then absolutely I haven’t had a single client that hasn’t said to me after even a week of working. Why didn’t I get a VA sooner? I didn’t realise until I was at breaking point. That they actually needed one and it’s it’s it’s realising that and and like, you know, I don’t always practise what I preach. I’ve only just recently started outsourcing some of my my own pieces that don’t bring me joy, that I really don’t like doing and aren’t my skill set. So I have someone else do those. For me. And and that’s what it’s about. It’s drilling down and finding out why don’t you like doing something? Is it because you need to spend the time elsewhere? Or is it because you just don’t like doing it or it’s not your skill set, whereas a VA will have? We’ll have that and be able to offer it to you. UM. As we as we spoke earlier briefly, you know, for me, wealth comes in many forms and I’m not financially driven. The most important thing to me is time. And having the time to spend with with my loved ones, you know, the people that I want to want to spend it with and especially for business owners, they sometimes don’t have enough time to spend with their families. They’re working Saturdays or somebody afternoons to get ready for the Monday. Yeah.

Kirsty van den Bulk

At the moment, yeah, I am working tomorrow morning. Yes, that is all right now.

Gilly Mulford

Yeah. So it’s, it’s getting that balance, that lifestyle ballet and I hate that term lifestyle balance because it it. It’s different for everybody. It’s what’s right for you and it’s what makes you happy. And what makes those around you happy that you’re not sacrificing the time, that you’re not going to get back. So, you know, and a lot of people know how the business came about and that was out of working 40-50 hours as an EA per week. And then my son passed away. Yeah. And it was a real grounding moment. It’s too. I can’t get that time back with him. Ever. I don’t want to be in the same position in 1020 years time where I can’t have the time with my parents because our parents are all getting older. You know, at some stage, unfortunately, you know, we all pass away. So I didn’t want to look back in 20 years time and say why didn’t I take the opportunity when? I had it. To do that, to spend more time with the people that I love. So from that the business grew. I yeah, started up, ran it alongside my full time business. My full time employee and yeah then had gave my three month notice and. Took the big leap.

Kirsty van den Bulk

And and and it’s it’s amazing. I mean we’ll we’ll come back to Ollie in a minute, but what I’d really love to understand is how, you know, household PA evolved into it. I’m. I’m gonna get your name wrong. But Paul’s of perfect.

Gilly Mulford

Tales of perfection.

Kirsty van den Bulk

I’m so good at this. Honestly, somebody somebody should employ me as a presenter, right?

Speaker

Right.

Gilly Mulford

It’s because the pause is PAW. Yeah, poor affection. And so part of the health OP, a business and virtual system with some of the properties and clients that are local. If they’re away on holiday for 2-3 weeks or going back to their their house in Switzerland or Austria or wherever they may live. It was the case I was taking care of the property and then making sure the heating was on and everything was set up. Post was taken care of. I thought, oh. Look, there might be. A. A real call for this. As it stands, if they had pets, I’d be looking. After after them. So I did some research. There was a real niche in the market. At the time. So. It was a service that we offered in addition to the aid services. But we became so busy with it that I have to have to separate it out as another business that we have. The two businesses that run side by side and we have associates that work within both businesses as well. So I have VA associates and then I have pet sitting associates. So they all come under my umbrella and we stay in people’s homes taking care of their. Their pets in their normal routine, reducing the anxiety but also offering offering security for the home and putting their bins out, watering their plants, doing everything that they would normally do. If they were there.

Kirsty van den Bulk

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And I know people who use your service, so I’m gonna go. Yeah, they love it because they really do. I wanna talk about how we met because we met through and and a lot of people we’ve we’ve had talk about the business class before, but we met through networking and we actually met through Sarah Southie and Sarah. Are they even got some really good this morning but network thing? And I think you’ve done a? Fire. Have you done a fire walk?

Gilly Mulford

Yes. So we were raising money for the Abington Bridge charity that I support in memory of Ollie, and we wanted to do a big fundraiser for them. So we did a fire walk. I had done one previously where I participated, but then I organised the fire walk and I’ve been done a couple of years ago and we raised just under five and a half 1000 lbs for the charity. So that was incredible. But what was really nice is we opened it up to to anyone to come along and take part, but we also reserved places for anyone that was with Abingdon Bridge using services that was over 16 that come and. Do it for free. Their their places had been spun. And and then we worked with a couple of groups within Oxford as well and allowed them to come free of charge, just so that they could have that sense of achievement to do something different, which would be great to put on their CV and and just for themselves to be able to achieve that and do something incredible.

Kirsty van den Bulk

So can you just explain what Abington Bridge is cause? It’s great for me, we I know. But the viewers won’t. So he’d explain a bit more about who they are.

Gilly Mulford

So the Arlington Bridge is a charity in Abbing, based in Abingdon, and it supports youngsters from the age of 13 right the way through to 25 with mental health. Anything they’re struggling with in life, whether it’s peer pressure, whether it’s parents, splitting up depression issues. All they. But what’s incredible about the service? Is that people can self refer or the parents can refer, they can go and knock. On the door and and. Speak to someone or ask for. Appointment. They don’t have to go to a GP or a psychiatric. They don’t have to be referred externally. Then just go online, fill in a form and someone will get back to them. It’s just absolutely incredible service and they have free gym membership for so, so people can concentrate on their fitness and their health. They have cooking lessons. They get involved in in the community, they have ambassadors that they bring up. Through the through. The scheme and those ambassadors when I went to the AGM a couple of weeks ago to hear those ambassador speak. And every single one of them said that tab had and I’m not gonna get emotional now, but I do. Because at the at the Abington Bridge, I would sit there and I get so emotional when the youngsters are speaking, every single one of them said that abandon bridge had. Saved their lives.

Kirsty van den Bulk

Yeah. And that’s so important. I mean and you’ve, you’ve experienced it first hand and and I. Yeah. I I I cannot. I cannot even start to imagine what you’ve been through. And I’m not gonna expand on that. But I know that Ollie is your. Why? I know that he is your inspiration. And he fires you on which I think is just beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. So you’ve set your businesses, you’re now and and and one of the things I love about you is and I’ve seen you public speak and I’ve seen how much it, I know how much it’s taken for you to come on here because you know I’ve, I’ve seen you absolutely shape from head to toe as you’re delivering a speech and it’s just your confidence. And your the way that you face your fear is absolutely inspirational. And we were just talking about fear before we went live, and I wondered if you could recap what we were saying about how you face your. Is.

Gilly Mulford

Yes, so it it’s funny because one of the talks that I’ve that I’ve given before is is authenticity and being brave and and it it is it’s facing that fear but it’s drilling down and realising that that that sickness, feeling that turning in your stomach is just adrenaline in your body preparing you. 4 something it doesn’t necessarily have to be fear, but we always negative energy is far stronger than positive energy, and we automatically flip to that negative feeling. So we think ohh, it’s fear. I’m scared. Oh my God, it’s anxiety. It’s not. It’s just a feeling now if we retrain our brains because in your in your, in your head, you’ve got something like between 60 and 80,000. Memories at any one time that are in. It’s like the old Rolodex. I’ll show my age now. Yeah, the old Rolodex system, but as soon as you think of something negative, it pulls all that negativity. Of your mind. Whereas if you stop and say, well actually the last time I felt this way when it happened, how did I feel after I felt exhilarated? It was empowering. It was great. It cheques out all those negative feelings and the. Positive ones come to. The forefront and then you realise you’re excited. So it’s it’s changing your mindset into how you feel. Or how you think? Sorry and how you associate those thoughts with that feeling. So when I get nervous for that this morning, I I just have to think you know, I remember at the PA Show when I was sitting in an auditorium doing my first public session and. The feeling afterwards, the comments afterwards, the feedback was just immense and that’s what you have to grasp hold of.

Kirsty van den Bulk

Brilliant. Absolutely. So let’s touch about the PA show because it’s quite it’s important to you.

Gilly Mulford

It is, yes. Yeah, it was. I was asked to sit on a panel of networking experts. Which I’m yeah. Sat with you know, 3-4 other people all chatting, answering questions. That’s easy in front of people. I don’t mind that at all. But then they said can you don’t come. Would you like to? Deliver a 50 minute session. So I. Said yes. Yeah, that’s fine. You know, say yes for everything. You can always say no later. But if you say no initially, that opportunity may pass you by. So it was then pulling together the story. So I did authenticity and being brave and delivered that it was the journey from EA to VA, but it encapsulated Ollie his illness, what I’d learned and how I’d managed to deal with that emotionally. Psychologically, and how that then went on to prepare me for setting up my own business. And yeah, pushing through those. There’s boundaries that I’d almost set myself that I needed to sort of expand, and stepping out of my comfort zone because that’s where the magic happens.

Kirsty van den Bulk

Absolutely. And on that note, stepping through the boundaries, there must be moments at as you’re running a business as you were launching your business. As you were. Leaving that that fear must have come in, so you must have had aha moments where you went. Aha, this is when it’s time for me to leave or aha. I shouldn’t have done that. Can you? Have you got any that you can recall at the moment?

Gilly Mulford

The aha moment? Well, the aha moment, I suppose, was I I’ve made the decision in lockdown to set up my own business. So did that. Launched on the Friday and got my first client. On the Saturday. Ohh my goodness. OK, that whole moment was like. Yeah, someone believes in me. It was someone who who knew me through one of Ollie’s previous activity. It is and said I really, really want you to come and. Work for me so. Yeah, from there it it it, it just went on and it was then that self belief. So it was early mornings, late nights, working weekends when I wasn’t. In my full time role. But that dedication and that hard work, you know it it pays off. And then obviously I just I’m I’m I know which way I need to jump.

Kirsty van den Bulk

Just awesome. We’ve had some comments and this is where I have to put my glasses on. So Deborah joined us, he said. Lucky to have worked for you, Gilly, great way to support people and their pets and love the analogy for the subconscious. Gilly, can you just explain a bit more about how you really come in and what you do? Because the pet thing is, I know it’s relatively new. But it’s it’s amazing the service you offer. You know, you come in and you absolutely are there, aren’t you?

Gilly Mulford

We are. Yes. Yeah, we are there. So we will, we will help with ongoing training you have for your pets. We will make sure that. Everything is just as you would have it and more. So that you have that reassurance when you go away that everything is taken care of, that you’re. You know, pets at the end of the day are dependents. They’re like they’re like toddlers. They never grow up. But. They never grow. Up. They can’t tell you what’s wrong. They can’t always tell you how they feel. So they are totally dependent and it’s a big thing to put your trust in someone to. Take care of. Yeah. So we we offer that reassurance, we work with the owners and yeah. And I love each and. Every single one of our. Of our clients, they’re just adorable. So, so nice.

Kirsty van den Bulk

So you’ve now you’re an ambassador for having a buzz. And how would you get the bravery cause it is brave to to step up and get more involved in networking. So how did? You get the bravery to do that.

Gilly Mulford

Yeah. Well, because you couldn’t pray for your shoulder as an ambassador, you have a role to play, and it’s far. I mean, you’ll know. Kirsty being obviously, it’s far easier to be in a role. Than it is sometimes to be. You are still yourself, but being in a role gives you that that barrier, that confidence that you’re there with the job to do, to welcome people, to make sure everyone’s OK to, to make sure people are connecting. So as a facilitator, that’s probably where my skill set. Would be as opposed to last month when I had to host it because the lovely Jordan had gone on holiday and as you saw, I shook from head to toe. To and yeah, it’s. Just with people that I know. But I think that’s the. Scary thing when it’s with people that. You know you don’t. Want to falter? You don’t, and I have to live up to you know. Jordan’s amazing hosting skills. So you. Inside, you doubt yourself. You do, and it it’s not imposter syndrome. It’s just you want to do the best for you and for the. People that are there.

Kirsty van den Bulk

You did a brilliant job and Jordan should be worried. Sorry, Jordan. I’ve, we’ve had some of the conversations, but honestly, yeah, you did brilliantly. And we were all really, really proud of you. So this is where we get to with the turns. Because sometimes I do it later. Sometimes I do it now through a question at me.

Speaker

Me. I.

Kirsty van den Bulk

Have no idea what it’s gonna be. Question. Yeah. No, that’s arriving anyway, I digress. Three question at me and let’s see how I can do in the hot seat. Because you’ve done.

Gilly Mulford

Brilliantly for 20 minutes. OK, what is your biggest fear and how do you? Overcome it what? Tools. Do you do you pull out? Of the box.

Kirsty van den Bulk

So my biggest fear is Wasps. Absolutely. Wasps and I’ve been scared of Wasps since I can remember. Now I’m not scared of being stung, so try this one. I’m not scared of being stung. It’s the noise they make which then leads me to a fear of the dentist and leads me to a fear. So how do I deal with it? This is an interesting because it is it. It’s the kind of the two go together. So it is the noise. So Wasps, I’ve got much better at because I’ve educated myself on how important a wasp is to the environment and I have a real thing about not killing anything. Everything has a right to live. And even if I do have to kill that. Course with a spider that happens to be in. The House as I kill it, I go on to your next life because I really gone bear the idea of killing it. But I also can’t have a full. Spider in my. House. When I’ve got a child. So it’s like and I I I know it’s ridiculous, but so I I cope with that. I have lost the nations. Which are these things that sorry branding there things that hang around all the garden. So that I can cope. I have rhubarb at the back of the garden because they love that when they get really dopey and and they they’re looking for the sweetness, so they go to the rhubarb and they attack it, which is fine by me cause it keeps me out the garden. So I do all of that, but the dentist has taken me years. And I mean years. I can now go in and my dentist is brilliant, absolutely brilliant, but for many, many years I had to take Valium just to get through the door.

Gilly Mulford

I I feel your pain. Dentist is my biggest I Kirsty. I’ll come on here every day of the week with you rather than go to dentist. I yeah, rescue remedy. I’m there doing my breathing. I’m shaking. I had to do several years ago and it was a new dentist and he came out and I booked the appointment. I’m really nervous and I’m sat in the waiting room and I’m crying because I am. Anxious. And so at the end of the end of the day appointment. So he came out and said. Right next victim, please. That’s that’s not really what you.

Speaker

Should be saying to me.

Kirsty van den Bulk

So Mike then? Absolutely brilliant and I I adore him, not adore him, but he so the last time I had to go, I’d cracked a tooth and I walked in and went from gonna be brave. I don’t have a choice cause I’ve cracked tooth. OK, big, brave big brave. And I’m there and I’m holding into the chair, and I don’t speak, so I don’t make a sound. I don’t squeak. I don’t make a sound. I am rock solid in the chair, can’t even breathe. And then he looked. At me at the. End and he went. Ohh. You’re OK. Are you? And he went. You need to sit down. You need to. And I’m like, no. Let’s Get Me Out of here and I get. Up the the surgery and I’m around the corner and then I’m in beds going. Can’t walk. I’m standing on the side now. This is in Wallingford. I’m standing on the side holding to the wall going. Which is really pathetic. So yes, there you go.

Gilly Mulford

Yeah, my last my last treatment I had to be sedated for I had to send me down to High Wycombe to have a tooth. Yeah, have a wisdom to her, he said. She said. I can’t, actually. I’m not gonna be able to do it. I’m not able to do.

Speaker

Oh.

Gilly Mulford

It we’re gonna have to send you down to be stated. It was great.

Kirsty van den Bulk

Yeah, like, quite like Valium. So if you ever need to go to the dentist, I’ll drive you. Cause at least we. Can you know 100% how scared I am? Halley’s joined us which is lovely and she’s said a powerful message. Jilly, thank you for sharing with such grace and what great business is I must introduce you to Jim, the board of colleague. Yeah.

Gilly Mulford

Oh. I look forward to that.

Kirsty van den Bulk

So what’s next for you, where you’re going? Now we’ve talked about our mutual for your dentist. Where are you?

Gilly Mulford

Going OK, so in a few weeks time I’m taking my I’m going international. I’m going to be going to Mauritius for two months. And I’m going to be working from there. So the service obviously not pet sitting, but the VA service, there’s only four hours difference, so. It won’t have any impact on my clients for the work that I do for them, but I just wanted to go and see what it’s going to be like to live abroad for at least a month during the winter months. So I thought, you know what? If you’re gonna go go for two months to get a real feel of what it’s like, a long way away from home. Yeah. So I’ve I’ve rented a house and I’m off two months in a couple of weeks.

Speaker

Yeah.

Gilly Mulford

Yeah, let’s not. Let’s not. Let’s not think about it, cause the anxiety right? No, no. The excitement might set in.

Speaker

Like.

Kirsty van den Bulk

It’s it’s brilliant. It is brave, it is bold and it is absolutely 100% new. And I am so, so excited about your, this, this journey for you.

Speaker

But Kirsty?

Gilly Mulford

Is not. Now, when exactly? Now when?

Speaker

So.

Gilly Mulford

Someone. Someone said something very. Powerful to me, I think. I think they’ve seen or heard on a podcast that they say if you work out roughly what your you think your life expectancy is going to be. So if you expect to live to you’re 85 and you’re 50 now, you’ve got 35 years, 35 years. In a long time. Time. When you break. That down and you say 35 summers? What are you going to do in the next 35 summers and you start thinking and planning out that reduces by a whole lot more. And this is where you start to think time is precious. When you break that down, it’s scary, really, really scary and you have to think what’s important to you.

Kirsty van den Bulk

Brilliant words and that is exactly how I live my life. We were talking about abundance before we came on and I love. I love my life. I am. I am the lucky. I still stand here today and say I’m the luckiest woman alive. I am. I have to do this every single day. How lucky I am with everything that comes my way. But I also invited. And and I do look and I go. So I’m in my 50s and I want to live to at least 105, though at least I really want to live to 140 and just. Drive my daughter. Nuts, but 105 is is a. Good age. And so I’ve set my target, which means I’ve now got. 100 and. Five. Yeah, 52 more years to. Go.

Gilly Mulford

Fabulous.

Kirsty van den Bulk

And I said, yeah, I at minimum 105, I have absolutely sad because I worked out that I would be able to see my daughters 50th and make sure that I’ve made her life out. She’s gonna tell me that she.

Speaker

Do nothing. Thank you so.

Kirsty van den Bulk

Much for giving up your time this morning. It’s been an absolute pleasure talking to you. We have had a brilliant. That, and I wish you all the best for your digital nomad life. I really do.

Gilly Mulford

Thank you. Thank you so much. It’s been it’s been great. It’s been. Really. Yeah, I’m OK.

Kirsty van den Bulk

It’ll be OK. I’ve promised you.